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i don't need to be in a relationship

In my fifth semester, I had something similar to my Asian Literature class, only that one focused more on “literature” (not really). There was one time that our professor asked us the cliche question, “What is Love?” It took me a week to find an answer, which was no longer needed because the discussion over it ended already. But I wrote a piece about it, Milk.

Before the previous week, I thought that I was looking for love and quite frankly, a relationship. I know this becasue I wrote, "meet someone" in my five-year life plan which became an inside joke between me and my friends. But due to recent events, I can confidently say that I am not looking for a relationship nor do I need or want it at the moment. Call it a commitment issue or being too committed to the guy I like (or that image inside my head).

Events from the past week must created a huge misunderstanding about a lot of things. I genuinely like Doc too much to like somebody else so no, I don't like the other guy. Also, no thank you, I don't need a wingman. I know I must have done a lot of things or said a lot of things that cause a shit ton of misunderstanding, but opinions and thoughts change and I'm sorry for that.

The thing is that, I feel great being single. Sure, I sometimes feel lonely but I'm happy with just liking someone Doc. I know it must be weird. But being single actually is fun.

This is such a rambly post but the thing is that, I am looking for love but I'm not looking for a relationship. Love comes in all shapes and sizes and gestures and simple things. I get lots of love! I don't always see it but I get it.

Right now, the love I'm looking for is love for myself. I could give so much to my friends and my family but never to myself.