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The Post Graduation Burn Out

I’ve been putting off writing about anything that happened pre and post graduation. For some reason, I can’t collect my thoughts properly. It’s like ideas and thoughts literally come and go. It's frustrating and tiresome. All of these would be a whole scramble of thoughts it’s just a whole thought vomit.

Few days, weeks, before graduation, while the others were already processing papers for job applications and scholarships or whatever, I was contemplating on what I'd do with my life. I didn't plan on applying to any job because I would be gone for a month in October and I didn't want to be the newbie who'd take a month leave even before she reaches her half-year mark. 

Med school or masters? If I’m gonna work, what kind of work would I apply to? These were the questions flooding my brain. Not everyone knows what Asian Studies is. I got tired of hearing the question, ‘what’s asian studies?’ Well, to get that out of the way we basically study… Asia. History, economics, government and politics, art, philosophy, geography kinda the whole thing. You’d basically feel like a whole wikipedia page when you finish one subject. Although we also had classes about democracy and international relations. 

Graduation honestly didn’t feel like goodbye. There’s a huge delay in processing that it was the last time to be an undergraduate university student around the same people. It was a big slap in the face. 
During graduation my mind was just thinking “fuck, I really need to adult properly now.” 

Post Graduation
Post graduation, my sister decided to take me in as a temporary employee until I start applying when I get back in November. While I work for her, I also study Japanese because that has been an on and off case with me since high school. So far, I’ve been kinda consistent with my lessons. My reading and writing skills have definitely improved. I could read a lot more kanji that I used to and it really makes me happy. 

I’ve also been able to cross books off my manga shelf which feels really good. I feel like I’ve been reading books off more than I add to it now. 

I went to a Kpop concert. Me and my cousin (yes I know it should be my cousin and I but who cares about grammar when it’s a mind vomit?) watched Super Show 7. It has been years since the last time we watched Super Junior. Super Junior, my first Kpop love. My OGs. My Kings. The experience was surreal. We had the farthest seat available because we bought our tickets last minute. But seeing the ELF sapphire blue sea from up there was amazing. I’m not gonna lie, I almost cried when I saw them. 

Ever since I started working, my social life kinda died. While my friends were having their vacation and adulting things with each other, I was in the office from 9 to 6 trying to earn money for more concert tickets––partially a lie. 

Posting regularly kinda sucks. I'm joking. I'm just burnt out, to be honest. I don't know when something exciting happens and I'd be able to document it or whatever. But, I shall return. I want to. I have ideas written on paper that's severely half-baked and I really have no motivation to put it back in the oven.